AVERBUCH'S ARIA

Ilja Averbuch – our son pushed us toward divorce.

A new sincere interview with the famous figure skater.

Translation of an interview by Nadezda Bushueva (NB), a correspondent of the Russian language publication Zhizn.ru printed on May 13, 2008.

News about the divorce of Ilja Averbuch (IA) and Irina Lobacheva was taken by many as a thunderstorm on a clear day. The skater told the publication what pushed him to take that step.

NB – Do you remember your first love?

IA – Most probably I had infatuations, rather than love. The first serious feeling I had were for for Irina Lobacheva, who became my wife. Everything before that was not serious. Irina was my first woman.

NB – What about your partner, Marina Anisina?

IA – With Marina we were not even friendly, saying nothing about any sympathy. Practically every practice session ended with a quarrel or a tantrum. We parted our ways when I was 17 and she was 15, when we both were more concerned about establishing our own identities and we did not think about any relationships. Besides, Marina was still a little girl, while I was an adolescent who had just started shaving.

NB – It was told that Irina was against you and her working together as a duet.

IA – Yes, she was against it because we first started dating and then begun skating together. It was my initiative. She felt that our work would interfere with our relationship.
Incidentally we learned later that she was right.

NB – Do you remember how you started your relationship?

IA – Our paths first crossed when we were kids, when we both practiced in Natalia Dubinsky's group. We were not friends at that time. Irina was working very hard and was a role model for others. Boys around her were conflicted between the two feelings – on the one hand, we rejected her for being so outstanding, for being a person who was always praised, while on the other hand she was respected for her achievements. At that point fate separated us and we met again when I was 16, when Marina and I came to the group of Natalia Linechuk. Irina saw me not as a boy anymore, but as an adolescent. I saw her as an interesting, goal oriented person. Our relations started as with many sportspeople at the sports camp. We were at one of those in the city of Kislovodsk and that's were it all started.

NB – How did your family accept Irina?

IA – Normally. I made it clear to my parents that it was my life and my decision. We rented our own place from the very beginning so as to be independent and not to take money from my parents. I was working as a private driver.

NB – You lived together for 16 years, but your first child was born just 4 years ago, why?

IA - We were skating a lot. Almost every figure skating couple can not afford to have a child during their sports career. Irina wanted a child very much. That was why we ended our sport’s careers so early – she was 29 and I was 28. We could have skated 4 more years till the Olympics. But we were very tired and we wanted to have a full family with a child. And thanks god it happened very fast. But our family relations were built with many difficulties. It was very difficult to skate and live together. Most of the conflicts originated at work, but sometimes domestic problems spilled over on ice.

NB – Were you jealous of your wife?

IA – I am a man who wants that his woman belong to him only. Irina never gave me any reasons to be jealous. She never flirted with anyone. I was always sure of her and knew that she did not have other men.

NB – Then what was the reason for your divorce?

IA – It would sound benign, but we just got tired of each other. We lived together for 16 years. Our relations cooled off; we were trying to stay more away from each other, then to be together at home. To stay married for the sake of the child only, would be wrong. Our son saw our conflicts and strained relations. It is hard to assign the guilt in this situation. I am not trying to push the guilt off me for what had happened. Probably Irina was also guilty of something. We had great relations. But life was going on and we did not want to poison it for each other.

NB – Are you communicating?

IA – We have good relations. Irina is skating in my show with Dmitry Marjanov. She is earning her own money. We made our financial arrangements. Martin has everything that he needs. They live in the apartment that was a gift to us from the Government of Moscow. Irina is not objecting to my communications with our son Martin.

NB – What else did you leave to Irina and Martin?

IA – She is getting alimony. Also I left her the property that we bought together – she has our car. We did not divide anything. I just took my clothes. We have a summer apartment in the Crimea. We agreed that it will belong to Martin when he reaches 16. For now both of us and our parents will use it.

NB- Do you see Martin often?

IA – A few days ago we came back from Paris where we visited Disneyland. We are very tight with Martin and I am thankful to Irina for that.

NB – Was it hard on Martin when you divorced?

IA – He was fine. Incidentally, he was the one who indirectly pushed us to divorce now. We understood that the older he gets the more difficult it would be for him to understand that his mother and father were no longer together.

NB – Does Martin have your name?

IA – Yes, he is Martin Averbuch.

NB – Many people talked about you being unfaithful to Irina…

IA – This is a serious charge. I am not even going to talk about that since there were no facts. I was not unfaithful and Irina did not complain about that. I want to stress it again, I have never been and I am not now with any woman, except for Irina.

NB – But were there temptations?

IA – I was completely satisfied with Irina as a woman. And I did not have a reason to look for emotions on a side. Nowadays I am very happy with my freedom. I like to live alone; I like to be independent of anyone. Maybe I am making up for lost time. I like to do the job that I love 24 hours a day. In the near future I am not planning to start any serious relations with girls.

BN – Never say never. You may meet some nice looking fan of yours.

IA – I am not 16 any more when any nice looking girl would initiate a sexual interest. I am a mature man.

BN – But how can you escape your sexual wishes?

IA – My sexual wishes would stay as wishes, but I am now at such an age, when my head could control all of my wishes.

BN – How do you relax?

IA – I rest on the couch, watch TV, read and take walks. I like to be alone at any time or with the closest people.

BN – So you do have someone close!

IA – I have parents, friends, close people for whom I am not a star, but just a person who they've known for many years.

BN – Ilja, why do you think the people are saying that you are a homosexual?

IA – It is just terrible. It offends me as a man. As a normal man I can not talk calmly about it. I am fine with the gays and their choices, probably that was how they were made by nature, but I, thank god, was made by nature as a man who wants women.

BN – But now you are spending your life on the couch alone.

IA – I confess that the first time after we separated, and even now it was difficult for me to fall asleep alone.

BN – And?

IA – I am falling asleep with the TV because I like when there are some noises. Something is going on on the screen and under that noise I fall asleep. I am afraid that I may become a cynical bachelor, but never gay.

BN – Well, there are is new gossip that you made an actress, Alisa Grebenschikova, pregnant.

IA – One day I am gay, the other day I made someone pregnant. Don’t you think that these gossips contradict each other? Alisa is a member of the show “The Ice Period." It just happened that in the middle of the tour she learned that she was pregnant. I had nothing to do with that. Believe me, if I was involved with her, I would have enough courage and would be brave enough to admit it. To be ashamed of it, to run away and to deny it is not my style.